


Not A Saint

by happilyappled



Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - Religious, Father Way, M/M, priest!Gerard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-16
Updated: 2013-01-16
Packaged: 2017-11-25 17:58:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/641493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/happilyappled/pseuds/happilyappled
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Father Way is not just a priest and Frank is not just any other man.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not A Saint

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to Erika, Leah, Cristy, and Hayley <3
> 
> [Click here](http://www.mediafire.com/download/9va9b2muia0pxf3) to download this story in PDF format :)

_“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.”_

*

This kiss is making Frank’s lips pang and he needs to slow down. He needs to take a breath, spare a thought to what he’s really doing here, but not for now. First he needs to get it all out in this kiss. Frank has a hand over Gerard’s heart, feeling the rapid beats and swallowing in every drop of kiss at a similar pace. His mouth is open and he’s just intoxicated with Gerard’s superb taste. There’s a strong flavor of mint gum and just that perfect hint of coffee, but there’s also a fading but detectable tang of cigarettes and Frank wants to–

It hasn’t been too long since he quit, mostly due to health issues but also to the fact that his mother is currently being treated for lung cancer and she was worried about _him_ , so he craves a cigarette whenever he’s with Gerard and he smells familiar. Today he just wants to lick this taste out of Gerard’s mouth, ravish him up to savor everything, reach out into his throat and–

Frank interrupts his own thoughts by breaking the kiss. Mostly he needs to stop thinking about smoking, but then he also needs to breathe and to look at Gerard. He looks so stunning at the moment, his mouth so red and used and his cheeks tingling with the remnants of their kiss.

His eyes are immediately drawn in to the white collar around Gerard’s neck, his hands twitching anxiously to remove it, and Frank gives in. He looks back up and finds Gerard’s eyes, gazes deeply into them as he unhooks the tiny buttons at the front and back of Gerard’s shirt neck, removing his white clerical collar afterwards. He catches a sudden glimpse of Gerard’s Adam’s apple dancing up and down his throat, like he’s nervous. There’s every reason to be nervous today.

Before thinking about that, though, Frank drops tiny kisses under Gerard’s jaw, gliding his lips down to Gerard’s now bare throat as he holds the white garment in a tight grip. He can feel Gerard stroking his hand gently, wrapping his fingers around Frank’s and not letting go until Frank releases his grip and lets Gerard steal the collar from him. He drops it to the floor like it doesn’t mean anything to him, but it makes Frank realize how important this moment is. They’re alone and there’s no risk of being walked in on because, for the first time ever, Frank visited Gerard’s house. Or rather, Father Way’s house.

That doesn’t really matter when Gerard’s eyes meet his and lure him in, so Frank resumes his kissing under Gerard’s jaw. At the same time, Frank starts unbuttoning his shirt at an agonizing pace. He can hear Gerard’s struggled breaths and dwells on those sounds as he moves from button to button. The shirt falls open naturally, showing Frank a teasing strip of skin of Gerard’s chest, but he wants so much more. He doesn’t even know what to do with himself at this sight.

For now, he flattens his palms over Gerard’s hips, caressing the skin, listening to every little noise Gerard makes as Frank moves his hands up his stomach, up his almost hairless chest. He proceeds to remove Gerard’s shirt, sliding it over his shoulders and pulling it off gently, dropping it to the floor. At some point, Frank finds himself hovering over Gerard’s lips. He can feel Gerard’s breaths now as they fall from his slightly spread lips. Looking up, he finds Gerard’s eyes to be needy, to be wanton, begging him to do something, so he does. He responds to this silent request and pulls Gerard close by the neck, pulls him close for another kiss.

This time it’s gentler, lips moving in unison and noses touching by pure accident, but when Frank flicks a nipple in between two of his fingers, the kiss deepens. He thumbs at the other nipple intentionally, twists it until Gerard hisses and hums into his mouth. One last flick to his left nub has Gerard arching his back, opening his mouth, intoxicating Frank all over again. The taste isn’t so intense right now, but it’s there, and Frank kisses him with intent.

Sliding his hands down to Gerard’s hips again, Frank closes his eyes and keeps kissing him. What he means to do next, he’ll do without looking. Frank wants to know if he can do it and feels his way up to Gerard’s belt buckle. Soon, he’s expertly unzipping Gerard’s pants, knowing exactly how to reach inside Gerard’s underwear and grasp his cock. Gerard reacts with his usual gasp, breaking the kiss.

Frank looks down immediately, leaving Gerard to splash a kiss against his forehead. He just can’t miss this, though. There are flames burning down his back, creating shivers just at the thought of this opportunity today. Frank might have had to lie to everyone about this, but at least he got to come to Gerard’s house, got to kiss him and make him gasp and eventually get his cock out and take a really good look at it.

They’ve done everything else before. Frank has seen Gerard’s dick before, but never like this. They’ve shared quick handjobs, with their pants barely unzipped and their kisses growing frantic, after Mass every other Sunday. Frank has rubbed Gerard’s cock through his slacks more than once in the vestry, Frank’s face buried in his neck and his crotch grinding against Gerard’s ass, straight after choir rehearsal every other Saturday. There was also that one time when Gerard went to Frank’s house for dinner, invited by Frank’s mother, and Frank ended up locking them up in the bathroom upstairs to have a quick _tête-à-tête_ with Gerard’s mouth and the feeling of his cock growing hard and then softer again under Frank’s hand.

Yet they have never taken their clothes off. It’s been at least 6 weeks and Frank is getting anxious for what’s next, he’s just so antsy he can’t control himself, so he looks down. He knows by touch that Gerard has a fairly big cock, but he’s curious as to what it looks like from up close, what it’s like to be face to face with another dick. Frank grins as he wraps a hand around it, Gerard watching him intently the whole time. Frank can feel his gaze blazing holes in him.

Frank leaves a peck on Gerard’s lips and stops his hand, dropping down to his knees to drown in the appealing scent emanating from Gerard. It smells like sweat and sex, and there’s precome on his tip and Frank wants to reach out and lick it off, and he does. He has no idea if Gerard has ever done this, but Frank has never blown anyone, so it’s simultaneously nerve-wracking and very awesome.

His mouth feels stretched and full, even if he’s just sucking the head into his mouth. Frank can’t really tell if he feels pleased or abused, as he’s only just adjusting to the feeling and the bitter taste, but there’s a hand on his hair and it’s very soothing. It calms him down and helps him focus, helps him think of everything he could do with this moment. What he’s familiar with, though, is the pang in his crotch.

He’s absolutely excited about what he’s doing. He rolls his tongue around the head, lashes it down on the tip and squeezes his fist around the base. Gerard’s cock jerks in his grip and it’s marvelous to just know that he’s causing a reaction, so Frank only intensifies every movement that he makes.

Looking up, rolling his tongue around the best he can, Frank finds Gerard staring down at him with a cleared out expression. His cock twitches, though, and Frank kind of chokes, but he tilts his head to the side and it slides further inside his mouth. He moans around it instinctively and because he can see the appeal of this, giving Gerard pleasure and reading his reaction from how his cock keeps twitching and tingling. There are goosebumps on the skin around Gerard’s pubic hair. Everything is so endearing and Frank closes his eyes, basking in this feeling.

The hands on his hair tighten dangerously and Frank starts moving his head. He knows this feels good, knows the things it does to a man when someone’s naturally hot mouth comes this close to his dick. Frank moves his tongue around, trying not to choke, breathing through his nose and focusing mostly on doing this right, on touching every single inch of flesh he can reach with his tongue.

He imagines this scene in reverse, Gerard on his knees and his mouth spread open sucking Frank’s cock, fingers teasing the length, the other hand around Frank’s balls, tongue teasing the slit. It’s all so intense when he converts those thoughts into actions that he retrieves a few moans of his name from Gerard. It feels overpowering to know that Frank is causing this, he’s applying pressure on Gerard’s cock, bobbing his head at a steady pace, swallowing down when his throat feels stretched enough.

He never gets tired of this. He could just blow Gerard for a really long time, as long as he gets to raise his eyes and see Gerard’s gaping mouth and his head slightly thrown back in what can only be delight. Frank has seen that face more than once, and he knows what Gerard looks like when he’s close, so he tightens his grip on Gerard’s length, moves his fist and his tongue faster and prepares for what comes next. Frank can distinguish the bitter taste of come and he moans, focusing on the image of Gerard doing this to him and recalling the theory of what he knows feels good and applying it to his movements, as he increases his rhythm.

Frank does everything faster, squeezes his hand tighter, moves his other hand to the underside of Gerard’s balls and even slips a finger in between Gerard’s ass cheeks, just to see what it’s like. Then he just waits for it. He looks up at Gerard and relaxes his throat, taking Gerard in and waiting.

*

“It’s been–”

“Time doesn’t matter to God,” Father Way interrupts him smoothly. “Remember what John wrote, if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

Frank lets the silence fall and listens to every single drop of it. He remembers perfectly the last time he was here, kneeling in the confessional about to tell God about his sins. It’s been merely a week since then, just another week in between confessions, but Frank knows that Father Way won’t be able to truly grant him forgiveness. Not with how Father Way has lived in sin too.

“May the Lord be in your heart and help you to confess your sins in true sorrow.”

*

Frank’s sitting on Gerard’s lap, waiting. He’s kissing Gerard’s mouth, delighting himself with the familiar taste of everything he could ever want, mixed with the hot shivers crawling over his skin every time Gerard so much as changes the angle of his grip. He’s got a hand on Frank’s hips, stroking the skin as they kiss hotly, just waiting.

They’re waiting for the first sting to ease. Frank’s wiggling his lower half the best he can, but it still hurts, so he kisses Gerard and caresses his chest in the meantime. Gerard’s hands move up and down Frank’s back, creating shivers and making Frank question himself about the last time he truly felt like this. He’s burning all over, skin growing prickles under Gerard’s strokes.

When the sting fades out and his lips start to hurt, Frank pulls away from Gerard’s kiss with a moist, satisfied noise and sits up on his lap. First, he wiggles around to give Gerard enough time to open his eyes and look up. Their eyes meeting is Frank’s cue to move at last, his spine curving as he goes up and his muscles clenching on every descending movement. Frank moves slowly at first, feeling every single stretch of his naked skin and staring into Gerard’s eyes.

They’re both open-mouthed, but Gerard has this expression that shows nothing but pure delight. His lips are obscene, slightly spread and shiny with spit, and there is also his jawline that reflects the light so perfectly when he tilts his head to one side. Frank picks up his rhythm and his moans start spurting out, loud and uneven. He can’t help himself. He’s never been really quiet, unlike Gerard who just lies there with his eyes open and scrutinizing, and his mouth twisted to the side, and the usual flush rising to his cheeks.

This is the moment Frank has been waiting for. This flush means that Gerard is really enjoying it, his cock buried in Frank’s ass as his movements gather speed and his sweat forms on the base of his neck. It’s just so beautiful, only adding to the filthy touch of Gerard’s hands on his ass. They crawled there when Frank started moving and they squeeze the flesh like it’s the best thing in the world.

“Fuck, Gerard,” Frank finally moans out loud. This is what he likes best actually, saying actual words and watching Gerard’s reaction to them. Most of the time, he shivers and shakes, never looking away as Frank dives into the pools of bliss that are his eyes.

“Please, touch me,” Frank chokes out pausedly, trying to keep moving without losing focus on every single shadow passing by Gerard’s face. He gets one of Gerard’s hands from his ass and places it on his left side; Gerard will know what to do from there. He knows what Frank likes and, in fact, Gerard doesn’t disappoint him.

“Your skin,” he mutters in a raspy voice, smoothing his palm across Frank’s ribs. He scatters his fingertips up to Frank’s chest, thumbing at a taut nipple, moving upwards and wrapping a hand around Frank’s neck, reaching every place where Frank likes to be touched. “Always so smooth.”

“Oh don’t ever–” Frank trails off in between his moans, because Gerard is sliding his hands back down. Frank moves down on his cock quickly, making Gerard inhale in response. His hand falls on Frank’s hip because of it, burning the skin with another caress, but then it slides down to Frank’s ass. They’ve talked about this before and Gerard spent a long time explaining to Frank all the things he likes about Frank’s ass, from the curve of his cheeks to the flesh that’s easy to grasp. It certainly seems like he’s obsessed with it, always finding an excuse to slide his hands down there.

Frank can’t complain, though. When Gerard is squeezing his flesh like this, he has a look on his face that is downright illegal. Frank finds it very alluring and it always inspires him to give more and more to their moment. He starts moving faster and soon, not only Gerard has a death grip on Frank’s ass, but he also hums and bucks his hips in a way that hits Frank straight on.

“Oh, _Father_ ,” he moans, knowing very well what this will earn him. And there it is, Gerard squeezes both his ass cheeks at the same time, and Frank arches his back when Gerard bucks up and finds his prostate again.

*

“I’ve been having thoughts again. They won’t let me go. They’re stronger than me,” Frank says at last, revealing his intention to come to confession. He truly hasn’t been able to control his mind. “I’ve had urges every single day and I can’t end them. I can’t even find in myself the will to fight them. I need you.”

They fall into silence again. Frank spares a moment to recall the months when he didn’t have to repress his feelings, when he had everything he wanted, when he had the man he’s been craving for years. He knows Father Way knows how happy he was back then, knows that the happiness Frank felt was mutual. No matter how much Father Way insists, Frank will never be able to give up.

“I’ve been thinking about you again, Father,” he says out loud yet again. He has said this so many times before and it’s been fruitless, but Frank knows how to be persistent. He knows just how to break Gerard. “I can’t help it.”

“Need I remind you that you have a girlfriend? She loves you, and you and I know that you love her too. You’ve always wanted to marry her. You both asked me to unite you in matrimony. How can you–”

“I may love her, but I need so much more. I’ve repressed these feelings for so long, and you and I know where they have led me. I can never confess this to you in true sorrow because I don’t regret it. Do you regret it, Father?”

The silence falls in between them again. Frank can feel his old fire burning under his skin, clicking hungrily at the thought of what he lost. He was forced to block his thoughts again for a reason he knows is strong enough, but it’s something he wouldn’t mind to disobey. He doesn’t want this to stop. He used to be so happy and now he’s wallowing in his old depression all over again because it’s over. It can’t be. Not with how much he’s been thinking about it over and over again. Not with how hot the fire in him still burns.

*

Gerard lays Frank down on the bed gently, his thin layer of sweat rubbing on Frank’s skin making it prickle, and lies down over him. He rolls one hand down Frank’s body, straight to his ass and Frank grins at him, because he’s just so used to this that he can only find it endearing. Gerard frowns, though, creating yet another giggle in Frank. “I’m glad to know you think my face is funny.”

“No, it’s just– I know you’re obsessed with my…” Frank trails off in a low voice, still heaving from having thrown Gerard onto the couch as soon as they arrived.

“I have all the reasons to and you already know them,” Gerard says seriously.

“Yeah.” Frank keeps grinning and relaxes, spreading his legs apart so Gerard can fall in between them, and Gerard reaches out for Frank’s cock. He fondles it and Frank closes his eyes because Gerard’s touch is sinful yet at the same time, he wants to watch everything before he loses something important.

Opening his eyes, he realizes that Gerard is speeding up his strokes, squeezing Frank’s cock and grabbing his balls, everything while kissing his neck. There is only so much Frank can handle, of course. It’s so wrong to feel like this in a priest’s bed, Frank feels so wicked, but then Gerard’s fist gathers speed and Frank’s stomach boils. He’s contradicting himself, wanting this and yet questioning its righteousness, but this is what he wants and he doesn’t regret having lured Gerard in the first time. Frank smiles to himself and takes a hand to the back of Gerard’s neck and pulls him close, kisses his beautiful mouth and wraps a leg around Gerard’s thigh.

Their bodies are so close that Frank can feel the stirs of Gerard’s vulnerable skin, and if Gerard feels the same way it shows through his next actions. Frank looks up at his face when Gerard releases his cock and observes every distortion of his mouth as Gerard reaches out for his own length instead. Frank prepares himself by lifting his hips and lining his ass with Gerard, finding the perfect angle for him.

Soon he’s just blissed out at the first press of Gerard’s cock into his hole. Gerard goes slowly, applying the right amount of pressure over Frank’s body to drive him crazy. He likes feeling the stretch as his ass gives way to Gerard’s first real thrust, and he pays all the attention he has to the faces Gerard makes and the little noises that escape him. Some of them are clear and accompany his increasing movements, but others get stuck in his throat and Gerard kind of leans forward, and he’s so close that Frank reaches out and strokes his face.

There is so much Frank likes about it, from the mouth that shines from spit and that is red from their bruising kisses, to the tilt it has to the right when Gerard gasps or parts his lips. Frank just wants to lose himself in this moment, so he pulls Gerard down, wraps his leg tighter around him and keeps him close, kissing his way up to Gerard’s temple. Frank weaves a hand through his hair and pants at the sensations crawling from inside him straight to his brain. He just takes the thrusts that are starting to hit his perfect spot, and squirms and liquefies in this pleasure.

He draws an arm around Gerard’s head, cradling it against his neck while Gerard moans and moves nothing but his hips, although his hands are gripping Frank’s own hips strongly. Gerard straightens up for some reason, never stopping his thrusts but finding Frank’s eyes, and Frank grabs his own cock to try and hold on to that gaze. He can’t miss this, Gerard staring at him so sensually like he wants this to last forever, and his stomach curls in anticipation.

Catching Gerard’s mouth with his is easy when it’s close again and Frank drinks in every single moan and hum that Gerard produces, each of them intensifying what Frank feels coiling in his gut. Their rhythm grows stronger with every second, Gerard’s hips stuttering every once in a while and Frank whirls a hand across his shoulder. He traces the muscles and bones, and drags it down Gerard’s back.

Every time Gerard hits his prostate, there’s a shiver that runs up Frank’s legs and his whole body arches up, clashing their chests together. When Gerard breaks the kiss, it’s to curl over himself and wrap his mouth around Frank’s nipple, his cock finding Frank’s prostate easily. Frank arches up, again and again, until his head lifts up from the pillow and he moans into Gerard’s short hair.

Within minutes, Gerard is once more lying fully on top of Frank, gliding against him from so much sweat. Frank feels a palm run across his thigh, wrapping around it and lifting it up, and he can only think of holding Gerard too and moves both hands to Gerard’s back, one grasping his flesh, the other dragging what’s left of Frank’s nails all the way down to Gerard’s ass. Frank grabs it with a grin, and moans into Gerard’s hair again to let him know that he loves his ass just as much, pushing them closer.

He can feel Gerard everywhere and Frank just can’t take it. He collapses on the mattress and wraps a hand around his cock, the other still gripping Gerard’s flesh. He fists at it furiously because there’s no way he’ll be able to prolong this even more.

As for Gerard, he kind of gets on his knees, pulling Frank’s hips up so his thrusts are more powerful and it’s all so overwhelming. Especially the fact that Frank looks up at him and Gerard is watching him jerk off, but soon he moves to help and, with Gerard’s hand over Frank’s, Gerard’s cock filling Frank up entirely, that’s when Frank comes and shakes.

The rest of it is sort of a blur from the way Frank’s brain is fizzing in ecstasy. He just holds Gerard and his cock, helps in what he can by grasping them both and working them towards the finale. There’s a shocked quake that takes over Gerard’s body and Frank holds him the best he can, cock now forgotten because his aftershocks come from watching Gerard like this. He’s breaking his boundaries and losing himself in their passion, and this is everything Frank has been craving the whole time. He has no idea how he could ever deny this need that’s been growing in him for years now. Frank was never gay, but Father Way has awakened an old curiosity in him. From then on, things evolved naturally for Frank, although he had to struggle in order to convince Gerard that this was the best for them. They really fit together.

He breaks his chain of thought when Gerard begins shaking and moaning out loud, signaling that he’s about to come. He stretches his mouth open over a patch of skin on Frank’s chest and his hips stutter continuously until he finally collapses over Frank with a shout. Even then, Gerard’s skin keeps stirring and his shoulders shake wildly, collecting every drip of pleasure.

Frank recovers soon enough to feel Gerard pulling out and to watch him discard the condom and come back to the bed, his hands and cock now limp and sweaty, but that’s what makes Frank pull him close. They lie there beside each other, panting, their legs tangled. There are still aftershocks shivering across Gerard’s skin and Frank soothes them with an open palm, feeling tiny stings from what can only be static electricity, but he can barely focus on anything that isn’t Gerard’s satisfied grin.

“You are so fucking–” He wants to say something, but Gerard is kissing him again before Frank can even finish his thought.

*

“You need to focus on what truly matters in your life,” Father Way insists. Frank has heard this sentence every single time he’s come here to confess. He has made sure he’s been here often so that Father Way doesn’t forget that Frank is still craving. Now that he’s had the forbidden fruit, he can’t stop missing it. He wants to taste it over and over again.

“Seek support in those who are dearest to you. I’m sure you’ll find everything you need with them. You’ll never feel better if you don’t guide your thoughts elsewhere.”

“Can you deny it?” Frank insists, in a whisper as intense as he can. He’s been so needy that he can only muster desperate whispers every time he comes here. “Can you say you don’t think about me?”

For a long moment, they both keep quiet. Frank doesn’t dare to ask too many questions in a row, just so he can test Father Way’s reaction. He’s asked Frank to stop pushing him, to stop their casual meetings once and for all, but how can Frank lay low when all he wants is this man? 

In the silence, Frank remembers when he forced himself to step down on those feelings, when everything seemed so wrong and he wanted to get rid of those sinful thoughts. He spent months in denial, focused on avoiding any signs of what he genuinely felt, but then it’d been too strong. He hadn’t been able to resist and he had made sure that Father Way gave in to his wishes. Now that he’s lost everything, Frank has to go back to fighting for it. This is who he wants, who he needs to feel complete. He needs the comfort only Father Way provides him with.

“I can’t ever stop,” he persists in telling Father Way everything about his most recent sins. He knows Father Way’s opinion on what he’s doing, but Frank can also hear the sighs he releases at times and the way he seems to be shifting in his seat, the rustling of his robes so clear in the otherwise empty church.

“I dream mostly about your hands and the way you hold me, and your eyes dissecting my soul. I think about your little noises…” Frank trails off, splaying his right palm over the partition. He can see Father Way’s profile, his eyes cast down to the floor, his hair glistening with the light coming in through the stained-glass window on the wall behind Frank. He can perceive Father Way’s shoulders moving with another sigh.

Frank decides to use his best weapons and resorts to the most detailed visuals he has memory of, of everything he misses about Father Way. “The way they get stuck in your throat when I touch your neck. I can still feel your skin prickling as I trace the bones on your back, and the way you close your eyes when I caress your thighs. I want to hold you close. I want it all over again.”

*

Frank is pulled forward hastily, two hands fisting around the collar of his shirt. The next thing he knows he’s met with a brutal kiss.

Someone has Frank up against the nearest wall and Frank realizes that it’s Father Way who is holding him there, kissing him with heavy lips. They move firmly over Frank’s suddenly responding mouth, teeth biting his lip and tongue flicking out to lick the corners of his mouth. It’s delicious yet disconcerting, because Frank has no idea what he’s done to deserve such a kiss.

“You just–” Father Way mumbles, but it’s muffled because he’s just pushing Frank’s shirt to the side and mouthing at his neck. Every movement is swift and confusing because Frank wants to know what’s going on, but Father Way isn’t even letting him speak. He has a hand over Frank’s mouth, shushing him, then moves it to fist at Frank’s hair, pulling to the right so that his head tilts in that direction and Father Way dives his teeth into Frank’s flesh.

“Just tell me why–”

“Why?” Father Way looks up all of a sudden to whisper against Frank’s chin. He glares at Frank for a moment as he straightens up so they’re eye-leveled, and then his mouth opens slightly and he’s there, breathing against Frank’s shivering lips. Frank’s whole body is trembling with the desire he’s reading in Father Way’s eyes. Finally, with his hands pressed against the wall on both sides of Frank’s head, Father Way says in a low voice, “You think you can tease me every week and not expect me to react?”

Father Way’s face approaches Frank’s and he doesn’t even dare to move. He just waits for his fate and is willing to accept whatever comes. Even if it’s just a peck to the corner of his mouth and a nuzzling of Father Way’s nose under his jaw, pushing his head up. It clanks on the wall behind him and Father Way smirks at him, an enchanting look in his eyes like a predator wanting to eat Frank alive.

“You’ve been teasing me for weeks and I’ve been trying to be strong, but _you_.” Father Way moans lowly as he lingers right in front of Frank’s mouth. Frank feels his lips twitching from what might come next, but he waits for it patiently. He’s ready. “I thought you couldn’t break me, Frank, but you’re so damn–”

“I know I’ve been naughty, Father,” Frank says at last, smirking a little because he understands what Father Way is trying to say. He’s been dropping hints all over the church regarding the deepest, dirtiest thoughts he’s been having about Father Way for so long. Recently, Frank decided to stop fighting against his urges as he’s no longer young enough to keep denying the obvious, and he started showing Father Way what he kind of planned out in his head, every other night when he was needier.

“Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved.”

Frank has heard Father Way quoting the Bible for many years, but it has never been so exciting to listen to him. Frank has never heard the Bible being recited in such a low tone, and it travels straight back to where he really is needy. He licks his lips at the sound of Father Way’s voice and also at the touch of Father Way’s hand scooting under Frank’s shirt, melting him in every way.

“For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” Father Way adds, smiling. “Even me, Frank.”

*

“God’s testing you and He knows you can overcome your urgency. If I could–”

“I don’t care. I wanna feel you again. I just–” Frank interrupts himself, not knowing what else he can say. He has used the same arguments, the same strategy for weeks on end and so far the results have been none. Father Way still refuses to give in.

It was so easy the first time. Frank had spent many years in denial and then he finally came to terms with himself and realized that what he was feeling, the reason why he felt so bothered with his own body and soul, had nothing to do with stress. It had nothing to do with the fact that his choir was losing the best soloists or that his mother was falling ill again. Frank took the longest time to understand what it really was about.

When he first admitted it to himself, he couldn’t stop. He started spending as much time in church as he could, made up some bullshit just so he could be there. The object of his desire was Father Way, or the man behind the robes who had always been so mysterious, always so articulate and interesting, always so oblivious about Frank’s intentions. But day after day, Frank started sending him signs and, although it took him months, although it took weeks of stealing quick kisses in order to convince him, finally Father Way gave Frank the pleasure of his first kiss with a man.

It had been in the vestry, after everyone had left after mass. Father Way was always the last one to leave and that day, Frank waited for the perfect moment. He had waited sitting on a pew, just looking up at the Christ in Majesty figure painted on the ceiling. He still has no reminiscence of what he asked for that day, but it must have been for forgiveness. God had graced him with a fire and he was going to extinguish it at any cost.

*

When Gerard starts shaking, Frank knows this is it. He pulls back from Gerard’s neck and looks up at him, examines his blown irises as he refuses to close his eyes. Frank dives into them as much as he can, reading it all as Gerard finally gives in. He’s shaking and he’s gazing back at Frank, his glare so intense but losing focus by the second. Frank can feel his warm come falling on his fist and slows down his movements, finishing him off at a different pace.

Before, Frank had pushed Gerard onto a pew right at the back. The church was empty, they were absolutely alone and buried in silence. Whenever Gerard made a noise, even the lowest ones, it echoed through the whole place and amplified every single detail about the magic of giving him pleasure. Now that he’s coming, and his eyes slip closed for just a second, Frank takes a deep breath and drinks it all in. He tries to memorize every single detail about Gerard’s face, his contorted mouth, his frowning eyebrows, his eyes rolling under the eyelids. Everything is so beautiful and Frank doesn’t want it to end.

When it does end, Gerard remains shaking for a while. Frank hasn’t torn his eyes away from his face, watching it relax and watching as every emotion starts to change at the realization of what they’ve done. Gerard is wearing his collar, he’s still in character, but Frank can see past that. He sees the man, not the priest.

“You look stunning when you come,” Frank mutters, finally leaning closer. Gerard was looking at him, but closes his eyes right away. He hides away from Frank and his facial expression dissolves into nothing.

“We shouldn’t–” Gerard says, but Frank shushes him. He knows what he shouldn’t have done, but he doesn’t regret it. The fact that it was at church only makes it even more forbidden and desirable. The way every sound echoed through the high ceilings, the way Gerard was squirming beneath his touch and gripping Frank’s other arm with a passion right before he came, and just the way everything went down, Frank wants to do it again.

For a moment, Frank leans in and mouths softly at Gerard’s neck, feeling his skin shivering and Gerard’s chest quivering too. Gerard rolls his hand up Frank’s arm and squeezes his shoulder, but not with any intent to push Frank away. He’s pulling them closer, wrapping his other arm around Frank’s waist, so Frank keeps mouthing at his neck. He rolls his tongue across the skin and feels it prickle, feels Gerard everywhere around him.

He draws a hand under Gerard’s right ear, on the opposite side of his head, and caresses his thumb over Gerard’s cheekbone and temple. Everything is so soft and perfect. He feels so warm and complete right now.

When Frank pulls away from Gerard’s neck, he moves his other hand to Gerard’s face, holding it in place, examining it whole while Gerard remains with his eyes closed. There isn’t really a defined expression across his face, not a smile, not a frown. There’s nothing. It’s like he’s completely blank, completely empty, but it’s only the more beautiful to Frank. At the same time, he wonders if Gerard is looking up at God like he’s ashamed of what he let Frank do, like he’s begging for forgiveness, yet he starts shivering again when Frank nuzzles his nose against Gerard’s cheek.

Smiling, Frank admits to himself that he likes how _Father Way_ lets Frank see him like this, at his weakest point. For once, Frank closes his eyes as well and pecks the corner of Gerard’s mouth, before he whispers,

“Forgive us, Father, for we have sinned.”


End file.
